Reflection 11/11/25

revolving themes of association and personal connection

how things look in context

prayer in shape of consciousness and not action

things working roughly together but still completely honest to what they are individually

Expanding on -

nothing was rushed 

I liked the process of this building on itself whether that had been creation wise or metaphorical in my life

my brain has systems that I have built for myself unknowingly to digest information and perceive/process experiences

inherent 

The systems are completely specific to me and who I am

Things that I hold close to me

There is a lot to say about what this has revealed itself to me as

there is no specific goal or idea I tried to convey to myself; it was more of a mixture of things that were very immature and adolescent. Things that still could take shape into anything

This is a product of experiences and a desire to express something

Creative release

Everything I’ve ever experienced has built my present identity

I am everything I have been and seen, and I am everything I wish to become

To me this is a vessel for the systems in my head to take shape 

I don’t expect people to understand what I see in it

this is as if I am looking up to myself

I make this as if I’m my own audience

It has always felt like this is separate from me

It’s a product of me

This is in the sense that I didn't know what any of this was while I was making it. The same way you probably don't know either. I don’t know what I’m making, and I have no direction other than a drive towards what feels correct

Meaning comes afterwards

like taking shape of whatever I am

its something that has revealed itself to me slowly

still coming to senses about it 

It’s a prayer

Its prayer as a state of mind rather than an action

Its observing and experiencing everything all at once

Misery is a choice

Understanding is a choice

Its all choices  

Its losing what was believed to be inherent ability out of desire to understand,

And coming full circle, gaining it back and understanding it completely by relearning the world

A lot of the stuff in the zine is random

Seems random

I think very deeply about

The way I want to present things

small things

pictures of what could be meaningless to others

This follows the theme of contextual evidence, how things look in context,

Personal connections and associations

photos may seem meaningless but when accompanying each other, they paint a picture 

like a story

skin hair light texture contrasting photos

It all means something to me

specific to me

it is abstract to others and It is a choice to understand

Sometimes you never understand things, you only sit with them for so long that you become familiar with them

I think some parts of this are only familiar to me

It’s in that place where you realize there never had to be a specific meaning

Tying back to personal connection and association, it depends on the consumer. how people digest information and how it impacts them through time like seeds being planted and growing into trees.

I make this for myself the same way I make it for another. While I do have a personal connection, my own is not to undermine the validity of another.

everyone has things inside of them that can be unlocked and understood through another person’s actions

This is a reflection on identity through time

themes of romanticism

putting meaning to things that are inherently pointless

something so inspiring about the minor movements of my friends

something that drove me every time we would hangout 

putting on a headlamp in the dead of winter 

to go fishing at night in a bayou off the side of a long road in the middle of nowhere